Classical music guys may seem old, but relatively speaking they aren't. Put them into context with other institutions of the day and you'll have a whole new perspective!
Don't laugh, all of these things are within the realm of possibility...
Baroque Era (1600-1750)
Pachelbel could have been drinking a Löwenbräu - a 300 year old beer by then - while composing his famous "Canon In D." Johann Pachelbel (1653-1706), Löwenbräu (1383), "Canon In D" (1680)
Vivaldi could have played patty-cake. Antonio Lucio Vivaldi (1678-1741), "Pat-A-Cake, Pat-A-Cake, Baker's Man" (1698)
Vivaldi could have lined his catbox with newspapers that are still being published today. Antonio Lucio Vivaldi (1678-1741), "London Gazette" (1665), "Stamford Mercury" (1695)
Bach could have been an Ivy Leaguer. Johann Sebastian Bach (1685-1750), Harvard University (1636), Yale University (1701)
Handel could have rapped about Moët & Chandon way before The Notorious B.I.G. and 50 Cent. George Frideric Handel (1685-1759), Moët et Chandon champagne (1743)
Classical Era (1750-1820)
Mozart could have hummed "Oh Dear, What Can the Matter Be? Johnny's So Long At The Fair." Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (1756-1791), "What Can the Matter Be?" (1780)
Mozart wasn't featured in the first edition of "Encyclopaedia Britannica." He was just a passing fancy at that point. Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (1756-1791), "Encyclopaedia Britannica" (1768)
Mozart could have done body shots of Cuervo off a stripper with George Washington. Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (1756-1791), José Cuervo tequila (1759), George Washington (1732-1799)
Beethoven could have read the "Old Farmer's Almanac" or "The London Times" while sitting on the can. Ludwig van Beethoven (1770-1827), "Old Farmer's Almanac" (1792), "The Times" (1785)
There could be naked photos of Beethoven somewhere. Ludwig van Beethoven (1770-1827), First known surviving photograph (1825)
Romantic Era (1820-1910)
Italian opera composer Rossini could have sat on Santa's lap at Macy's. Gioacchino Antonio Rossini (1792-1868), R. H. Macy & Co. (1858), Macy's first in-store Santa (1862)
Brahms could have gone joyriding in a Mercedes-Benz. Johannes Brahms (1833–1897), Benz Patent-Motorwagen (1886)
Tchaikovsky could have ordered something out of the Sears catalog. Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky (1840-1893), First Sears, Roebuck & Co. catalog (1893)
Tchaikovsky could have gotten crunk off Jack and Coke. Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky (1840-1893), Jack Daniel's whiskey (1866), Coca-Cola (1886)
Tchaikovsky could have incorporated record scratches into the "1812 Overture." Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky (1840-1893), Phonograph (1877), "1812 Overture" (1880)
Modern Era (1910-Present)
Debussy could have composed while wearing Levi's blue jeans. Claude Debussy (1862-1918), Levi's jeans (1873)
Gershwin could have worked for IBM. George Gershwin (1898-1937), IBM (1924)
Carl Orff of "O Fortuna" fame could have played games on the Commodore 64 personal computer with Madonna. Carl Orff (1895-1982), Commodore 64 personal computer (1982), Madonna (1958-Present)
Aaron Copland could have sat in on the recording session of the first Nirvana album. Aaron Copland (1900–1990), "Bleach" (1989)
John Williams could tweet this post from his iPhone. John Towner Williams (1932-Present), Twitter (2006), iPhone (2007)
There you have it. Classical music has mostly happened in the last 300 years or so, along with a lot of other stuff that doesn't seem that old.
For more frame of reference, consider that "Canon In D," the oldest piece on http://www.kickassclassical.com, was composed 60 years after the Mayflower landed at Plymouth Rock in 1620. And 40 of the 50 composers on our site were alive during and after the days of the "Wild West," which began with the California Gold Rush in 1848.
But did he brush his teeth with it?
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Bedřich Smetana (March 2, 1824 – May 12, 1884) could have (possibly) avoided the syphilis that killed him had he used the sweet invention of 1855, the rubber. Literally a condom made of rubber. Thank you Charles Goodyear, I salute your blimp, two ways.
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